To sleep, perchance to watch Batman

Dear God, thanks for the nice day. Last night – the night before tonight, that’s the one I mean – I had a dream that I was watching Batman on Netflix. I just need to know, why did you give me that dream? What… what was the point of that? Does it mean that that will come TRUE? Well, you think about that. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Just bring your car around to the side door, God

(Here’s a “guest post” from another reader’s 3-year-old! Backstory: usually he gets put to bed by Daddy, and was a bit miffed that Mommy was subbing in while Daddy was working a late shift.)

Dear God, please take Daddy away from work. Bring God to Daddy so he will come home. In Jesus’ name, amen.

You sure did that one!

Dear God, thank you for everything! We just love everything! Thank you for my Batman toy. Actually, thank-you to Mommy for that, because she’s the one who got it for me. Thank you for our house. Actually, thank-you to the builders for the house since they made it. Thank you for the whole world! You sure did that one! Thank you for making people. I’m not sure why you decided to call them “people”. But that’s okay. In Jesus’ name, amen.

The Holy Ghost, of course

Dear God, I really really REALLY hope that tomorrow is Hallowe’en. I’ll be an astronaut. And what will YOU be? [pause] If it’s dark tomorrow, we’ll know it’s Hallowe’en. No… NO. That’s not quite right. It has to be 31 to be Hallowe’en. And tomorrow is not yet 31, even if it’s dark. So it’s not Hallowe’en yet. [sigh] But, there IS some good news that it’s not quite Hallowe’en, God. That means you still have some time to get your costume before you spook everybody. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Accidental Lava-cracking Super-punch

Dear God, I really hope that you never make me go to the center of the Earth. There’s rock down there that’s hot lava. And what if… what if I accidentally punched the lava? What if I had super-strength? What if I cracked that stone of the Earth with my super-punch and the yolk broke into a hundred pieces? The rock is just a shell, God. There’s a giant, hot, giant yolk in the middle of the Earth. If I cracked it by accident and the whole Earth broke apart… then… all the people would be just living lost in space. So don’t make me punch the lava, ever. In Jesus’ name, amen. Wow, that was a long pray.