Accidental Lava-cracking Super-punch

Dear God, I really hope that you never make me go to the center of the Earth. There’s rock down there that’s hot lava. And what if… what if I accidentally punched the lava? What if I had super-strength? What if I cracked that stone of the Earth with my super-punch and the yolk broke into a hundred pieces? The rock is just a shell, God. There’s a giant, hot, giant yolk in the middle of the Earth. If I cracked it by accident and the whole Earth broke apart… then… all the people would be just living lost in space. So don’t make me punch the lava, ever. In Jesus’ name, amen. Wow, that was a long pray.


4 thoughts on “Accidental Lava-cracking Super-punch

  1. Most people say “Dear God, I hope you don’t make me go to [insert country here] as a missionary!” — but they say that selfishly.

    O. says “Dear God, I hope you don’t make me go to the centre of the earth” — but that’s because he’s concerned for the fate of all humanity. I have no doubt this kid will accomplish amazing things in his life.

  2. He certainly thinks really hard about a lot of life-issues. Not necessarily mundane, everyday life-issues such as, “Should I really put my shoes here? I might not be able to find them the next time I need them.” But if you need an in-depth analysis of something involving venom, lava, robots, or events that might precipitate an apocalypse, he’s your guy. I learn a lot from this kid!

  3. The little guy is in luck. There is no lava at the center of the earth. However there is lots of magma.

    Oh, on the off chance your little guy arrived in a space ship and is powered by our lovely yellow sun, don’t let him punch our magma core.

  4. Excellent point, Tim! That may ease his mind. Sometimes I’m quite convinced Buddy’s origins must be extraterrestrial, but either way, his father and I are trying to instil in him the importance of not punching molten rock of any sort.

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