Accidental Lava-cracking Super-punch

Dear God, I really hope that you never make me go to the center of the Earth. There’s rock down there that’s hot lava. And what if… what if I accidentally punched the lava? What if I had super-strength? What if I cracked that stone of the Earth with my super-punch and the yolk broke into a hundred pieces? The rock is just a shell, God. There’s a giant, hot, giant yolk in the middle of the Earth. If I cracked it by accident and the whole Earth broke apart… then… all the people would be just living lost in space. So don’t make me punch the lava, ever. In Jesus’ name, amen. Wow, that was a long pray.

Advertisements

I’m pretty sure that’s an exhaustive list, God

Dear God, thank you for the nice day. Thank you for ALL the things I need. Like respect. And hope. And manners. And sunscreen. Everyone needs sunscreen when they go outside. Even Spiderman, right God? We wouldn’t want Spiderman to get a sunburn just because he made that mistake. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Captain Triangle-Eyes

Dear God, this is Captain Triangle-Eyes. Otherwise known as Oliver. I just wanted to tell you because, did you know that I have super-powers? When there’s a super-villain around and people need me to rescue them, they ACTIVATE my powers and then my eyes turn into special triangles. That’s why I’m Captain Triangle-Eyes. Nobody needed my super-powers today but maybe tomorrow will do the trick. I hope, I hope that a super-villain comes tomorrow. In Jesus’ name, amen.