The Perils of Popsicles

Dear God, thanks for the nice day. What’s your favourite food? Do you like popsicles? I do. Do you ever get brain freeze when you eat popsicles? You can put on a helmet when you eat popsicles, but that won’t stop brain freeze. It comes from the INside, not the OUTside. It starts in the tube in your neck, and goes up up up to the… the… green thing… and then into your brain. The popsicle goes in your brain and freezes it. Even if you wear a helmet. I tried. In Jesus’ name, amen.

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I’m pretty sure that’s an exhaustive list, God

Dear God, thank you for the nice day. Thank you for ALL the things I need. Like respect. And hope. And manners. And sunscreen. Everyone needs sunscreen when they go outside. Even Spiderman, right God? We wouldn’t want Spiderman to get a sunburn just because he made that mistake. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Captain Triangle-Eyes

Dear God, this is Captain Triangle-Eyes. Otherwise known as Oliver. I just wanted to tell you because, did you know that I have super-powers? When there’s a super-villain around and people need me to rescue them, they ACTIVATE my powers and then my eyes turn into special triangles. That’s why I’m Captain Triangle-Eyes. Nobody needed my super-powers today but maybe tomorrow will do the trick. I hope, I hope that a super-villain comes tomorrow. In Jesus’ name, amen.