Dear God, thank you for the nice day. I really, really need a chemistry set, God. That’s what you need to mix up chemicals. You can even make a volcano if you have the right chemicals and you know how to do it. First you take some… hot sauce… and some sugar, and salt and lots of pepper. And some vinegar. And then you take some baking soda and stir that in, and then you have a giant, squoozhing, erupting VOLCANO that will erupt lava FOREVER. And after I’m done with the chemistry set, I need a rocket. Those work by… by taking you into space. But you know that. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Tag Archives: science
The Perils of Popsicles
Dear God, thanks for the nice day. What’s your favourite food? Do you like popsicles? I do. Do you ever get brain freeze when you eat popsicles? You can put on a helmet when you eat popsicles, but that won’t stop brain freeze. It comes from the INside, not the OUTside. It starts in the tube in your neck, and goes up up up to the… the… green thing… and then into your brain. The popsicle goes in your brain and freezes it. Even if you wear a helmet. I tried. In Jesus’ name, amen.
How are we made?
Dear God, how are we made? [pause] Did you know that we start out as a yellow circle with a blue dot in it, and then it turns into two circles with dots and then three and four? And then a LOT LOT LOT of yellow circles. That’s true. I didn’t believe it at first, but it’s in a book. Isn’t that GROSS?? In Jesus’ name, amen.
Kids Pray The Darndest Things 