Dear God, thank you for the nice day. I really, really need a chemistry set, God. That’s what you need to mix up chemicals. You can even make a volcano if you have the right chemicals and you know how to do it. First you take some… hot sauce… and some sugar, and salt and lots of pepper. And some vinegar. And then you take some baking soda and stir that in, and then you have a giant, squoozhing, erupting VOLCANO that will erupt lava FOREVER. And after I’m done with the chemistry set, I need a rocket. Those work by… by taking you into space. But you know that. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Tag Archives: lava
Accidental Lava-cracking Super-punch
Dear God, I really hope that you never make me go to the center of the Earth. There’s rock down there that’s hot lava. And what if… what if I accidentally punched the lava? What if I had super-strength? What if I cracked that stone of the Earth with my super-punch and the yolk broke into a hundred pieces? The rock is just a shell, God. There’s a giant, hot, giant yolk in the middle of the Earth. If I cracked it by accident and the whole Earth broke apart… then… all the people would be just living lost in space. So don’t make me punch the lava, ever. In Jesus’ name, amen. Wow, that was a long pray.
Kids Pray The Darndest Things 