That Wise Old Adage

Dear God, thanks for the nice day. I played, and I read some books, and I did some drawings. And I helped Spiderman defeat the… the Instrainer. He’s yellow and black. I built a trap and caught the Instrainer, and it’s impossible for him to escape now. And you know what’s true, right? When you help Spiderman, you help YOURSELF. In Jesus’ name, amen.


Because I don’t.

(Our two-year-old daughter just offered this prayer to bless the food at dinner. In case you’re wondering, there were vegetables.)

Dear God, thank you that we have some supper, because it’s really really yummy, because I don’t like the vegetables. Because I don’t. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Tough crowd tonight

Dear God, thank you for the nice day. Why do we have blood? Is it… is it… to keep us alive? Or to keep our temperature? Oh, I have a joke for you, God. Knock knock. [pause] okay… Who’s there? Blood. Blood who? Blood keeping you ALIVE! Hahahaha!

[older sister interrupts: “That wasn’t funny at ALL.”]

Okay okay. I have another one then. What do you call an orange that’s… that’s smushed on the floor? A LOG! Hahaha!

[“That was even worse. Stop telling God jokes that aren’t funny.”]

Aw. Okay. In Jesus’ name, amen.


To sleep, perchance to watch Batman

Dear God, thanks for the nice day. Last night – the night before tonight, that’s the one I mean – I had a dream that I was watching Batman on Netflix. I just need to know, why did you give me that dream? What… what was the point of that? Does it mean that that will come TRUE? Well, you think about that. In Jesus’ name, amen.


Just bring your car around to the side door, God

(Here’s a “guest post” from another reader’s 3-year-old! Backstory: usually he gets put to bed by Daddy, and was a bit miffed that Mommy was subbing in while Daddy was working a late shift.)

Dear God, please take Daddy away from work. Bring God to Daddy so he will come home. In Jesus’ name, amen.


You sure did that one!

Dear God, thank you for everything! We just love everything! Thank you for my Batman toy. Actually, thank-you to Mommy for that, because she’s the one who got it for me. Thank you for our house. Actually, thank-you to the builders for the house since they made it. Thank you for the whole world! You sure did that one! Thank you for making people. I’m not sure why you decided to call them “people”. But that’s okay. In Jesus’ name, amen.