Dear God, how old are you? I’m four. Are you… FIFTY? Nine thousand and million? Hmm. Do you have to wear glasses? Well, do you? If you have glasses, I promise that when I see you I won’t say, “Haha, four-eyes!”. ‘Cause that’s not nice, so I won’t call you that. Four-eyes. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Tag Archives: prayer
The Perils of Popsicles
Dear God, thanks for the nice day. What’s your favourite food? Do you like popsicles? I do. Do you ever get brain freeze when you eat popsicles? You can put on a helmet when you eat popsicles, but that won’t stop brain freeze. It comes from the INside, not the OUTside. It starts in the tube in your neck, and goes up up up to the… the… green thing… and then into your brain. The popsicle goes in your brain and freezes it. Even if you wear a helmet. I tried. In Jesus’ name, amen.
I’m pretty sure that’s an exhaustive list, God
Dear God, thank you for the nice day. Thank you for ALL the things I need. Like respect. And hope. And manners. And sunscreen. Everyone needs sunscreen when they go outside. Even Spiderman, right God? We wouldn’t want Spiderman to get a sunburn just because he made that mistake. In Jesus’ name, amen.
How are we made?
Dear God, how are we made? [pause] Did you know that we start out as a yellow circle with a blue dot in it, and then it turns into two circles with dots and then three and four? And then a LOT LOT LOT of yellow circles. That’s true. I didn’t believe it at first, but it’s in a book. Isn’t that GROSS?? In Jesus’ name, amen.
Captain Triangle-Eyes
Dear God, this is Captain Triangle-Eyes. Otherwise known as Oliver. I just wanted to tell you because, did you know that I have super-powers? When there’s a super-villain around and people need me to rescue them, they ACTIVATE my powers and then my eyes turn into special triangles. That’s why I’m Captain Triangle-Eyes. Nobody needed my super-powers today but maybe tomorrow will do the trick. I hope, I hope that a super-villain comes tomorrow. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Kids Pray The Darndest Things 